"Keep looking until you find the people who celebrate your uniqueness. Better to be alone for a while instead of keeping company with those who try to box you in."
Campfire Chats Series - Slow Living with Jo
This post is part of my monthly Campfire Chats series, available free to all of my subscribers. This series is an opportunity to ask, interview, or feature my community and their experiences of one of the main topics that I write about here on Substack - motherhood, neurodivergence, mental health, running a creative small business, and slow living. If those topics are of interest to you, we’d love to have you in our community. Come join us?
Today’s guest is
who writes Reclaiming Creativity here on Substack.Jo would like to share the following message:
Just a shoutout to all the Substack people who are embracing simplicity at a much younger age. I am learning so much from you and am inspired by the way you are living your lives. Wish I had gotten here sooner. But to any older readers, there is tremendous benefit to adopting simple living at any age.
A brief introduction of who you are and what you do
I recently turned 66. I was educated as an engineer and in my work life, I was a research engineer, a technical writer, a project manager, a business/technology consultant, and consulting practice director, and a freelance business writer.
I am retired now, and my identity is more happily tied up in all my creative endeavors: painting, quilting, knitting are the big three for me, but I get distracted into trying new creative directions at every turn.
What made you start living a simpler, more intentional life?
In my mid-50s, I was the sole financial support of my family and the consulting career was high pressure on both the sales and the actual work for clients side. I worked either from my home office or at client sites. This means I was on the road frequently working long days in client offices and late into the night in my hotel room.
During this time, I was also in the sandwich generation, with aging parents and teen and young adult sons. Those were the years which almost broke me, but I managed to keep things together. We looked at our finances and saw that if we lived simply and frugally, we could make it if I retired at 57.
I have a sloppy sketch pinned to my wall here, after watching the light in our woods on a walk. "Long have I worked. Far have I travelled. I have traded it all for a glimpse of morning sun on a sassafras leaf." So now, I love to paint my little local scenes of morning light and long shadows seen on a morning walk.
What would your perfect, slow, 24 hours look like?
I would wake up in the pre-dawn hour, and listen to birdsong, go downstairs to feed the cat, make my porridge and morning coffee, then sit and watch the light seep into the woods.
The first touch of light shifts with the seasons. I would read my morning blogs and stacks, and I would NOT go near the news of the world, which puts me in a bad mood. I would walk with my husband, where every step on the trail evokes memories of what we have seen there in past years. Come home, have some tea, journal a bit, and spend time on the home tasks of the day, then settle to my creative activities, working on a quilt and painting.
A light lunch, then maybe more outdoor time, with a little tai chi. My perfect day would not involve me cooking dinner, I could let go of that so easily. I need a little quiet time with my feet up in the late afternoon and I also like to watch the sun's last slanting rays through the woods outside my front window. A little yoga before bed, where I like to curl up and read fiction for a while.
Tell us a secret to a simple life
The less stuff you have, the easier it is to live simply. I am struggling with this-the decluttering is continuous. I remind myself how difficult it was to clear out my mom's house after she passed.
What's the best advice you've ever been given/ read?
The decision to retire was difficult, because it involved letting go of a work identity that subsumed me, as well as letting go of a substantial income. The best advice was from my older brother, who told me you just know when it's time to walk away from it.
You go with your instinct even if it's scary.
A book/ website or other resource everyone should read is...
This is a hard question. We all start this journey into simplicity from so many different places. I am finding the writers on Substack (like you Sophie) have been very inspiring.
For decluttering, my biggest challenge, I made good headway with Marie Kondo's approach. When I first found Substack and started journaling,
who writes Daring Perspectives on Micro-Practices of Mindfulness very helpful on the mindfulness end because she comes from my faith tradition. Her microjournaling prompts helped me to re-establish a journaling practice that I had not continued after high school.One practice of your slow living life that you couldn't live without is...
Watching the morning light.
The biggest impact slow living has had on you is...
I have been better able to take care of my health, physically I am stronger and have more stamina, and my moods are more stable.
One thing people should do more of is...
Set your own expectations. Don't let other people pressure you into a certain way of speaking, writing, reading, dressing, decorating, cooking, praying, vacationing, voting or raising your children.
Following the crowd, trying to fit in with popular styles and holding under-analyzed opinions is unhealthy.
One thing people should do less of is...
This one will be an unpopular opinion, but I think many people are too restless and travel too much. Find wonder and bliss in your home and close to home instead.
Your favourite quote is...
Henry David Thoreau. "As you simplify your life the laws of the universe will be simpler, solitude will not be solitude, poverty will not be poverty, nor weakness."
A piece of advice you'd give to your younger self...
Keep looking until you find the people who celebrate your uniqueness. Better to be alone for a while instead of keeping company with those who try to box you in.
What advice would you give to someone wanting to live a simple more intentional life?
Just begin. Every small step will feel good. Get the swirling thoughts out of your head and journal them. Look at every aspect of your life and decide what is worth keeping. Get rid of the rest. Don't expect to be totally free from stress. Stress will become more manageable in a simpler life.
A top tip is...
Reclaim your mornings. Go to bed earlier just to wake up earlier if you can manage that. It is the most peaceful, hopeful time of the day.
Tell us about the time in your life that you felt the most content
An October afternoon. I was sitting in the big oak rocker by the window, nursing my son as he dozed off. I always held them for a while after they fell asleep. The late afternoon sun was just right, a loving warmth on my face. I was in a perfect, peaceful, loving, glowing bubble.
The best thing someone has ever said to you
The words I most cherish are these. Late in my father's battle with dementia, I think he was afraid of how much he was losing. It was the last time he visited our home, and we had to lead him around the house like a lost child. He could not remember how to get from one room to the other.
He sat in a chair and looked up at me, and he said the thing he must have wanted me to remember the most and it was simply this: "Joanne you know how much I love you, right?" He was the best dad, he gave me the wings to be everything that I am.
Your go to when you you want to be creative is...
I paint in either watercolor or gouache. If I go too many days without painting, my mood spirals downward.
When it all gets a bit much, how do you bring yourself back to calm?
I try to put family needs on autopilot and spend time in one of my creative zones (my sewing space or my art space).
Tell us about your biggest extravagance
My sewing machines. I spent so much money on them.
Share a journal prompt for readers to ponder
What will you be doing ten years from today?
A simple, beautiful memory you have is...
The first fawn seen in any given year is a big thing in my life. So innocent, trusting in the world's goodness, it's like they walked right out of Eden across my path.
One thing that makes life instantly better is...
A good cuppa. In my worklife I was so jacked up on nonstop coffee, but gave it up after a benign arrhythmia hit me. I treat myself to one or two cups of PG Tips a day, and a few cups of their decaff between times. That seems to provide the right amount of clarity without the jitters.
A favourite recipe that everyone should try is...
Everyone needs one or two really good soup recipes. I could live on soup.
Where can people find you online?
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this episode of the Campfire Chats Series. Please feel free to share this post by clicking the button below…
Speak soon,
Take part in the series!
I’d really love to bring in other people to chat about their own personal experiences with parenting, neurodiversity, mental health, being a creative business owner, and slow living, or a mix of these (parenting neurodivergent children or creativity to help with your mental health, etc.). If you have a story to share about any of those, I’d love to speak to you about collaborating.
Below you’ll find some links to some very quick forms to fill out if you’d like to collaborate in an interview style, or, alternatively, if you have an idea for a guest post, then please DM me or reach out via email (findingsimpleandcalm@substack.com) to chat further.
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This is such a lovely read, thank you. Reclaiming the mornings has been the best thing by far about reaching 50. I gave up alcohol as it didn't help my menopause symptoms and enjoy clear headed, early weekend mornings has been such a joy.
Thank you, I relate to this in so many ways. I came out of my twenty year career as an air traffic controller aged 48, and it took me two further years to unwind and start to really allow myself to live in a slower and more nurturing way. My pace and way of life before was crazy. This year I completed my first book, and now I’m studying as a tea sommelier for my second book, all very much on my terms. Most importantly I’ve (just about) allowed myself to know that this is ok. In fact it’s much more than ok, it’s essential. My older brother was so hugely influential in all of this, but largely because he tragically died, but that has taught me so much about what it means to live 💕