It took me getting everything I wanted to realise it wasn’t what I wanted at all. What I wanted was to spend time with my family. I wanted to slow down, have less stress, earn an income around my children, and pay off debt. Nothing, then, what I currently had. I needed to start over.
Aw Sian, I’m sorry you had this experience too. Oh, don’t get me started on what family expect 🤦🏼♀️. My parents are the worst for it and often ask if I’m getting a ‘proper’ job yet, or ask when I’m returning to nursing because ‘this is just a waste’ 🙄. But, they don’t know me or my business and have very little idea what it is that I actually want, and what’s important to me. More money doesn’t mean more happiness to me. I’m on my own path now, and I haven’t been happier. I hope you can find your own path too 🤍🤍
I loved reading this Sophie and learning about your experiences. I honestly don't know how you did it all! But I totally get the feeling, and the need, to rush. My own feeling of needing to rush stems from a lack of patience. I'm naturally very impatient and it's something I'm trying to improve upon. But, like you, I've taken steps to alter how I Iive my life and I feel SO much better for it. Here's to living life on our terms and in our own timeframes 🎉
What a beautiful read! This really resonated and I'm so grateful to be slowing down more and learning to let life be what it is, rather than constantly try to micro-manage every part of it.
It’s definitely a behaviour that we have to unlearn, isn’t it? I think society does try to rush us. How often do we hear “when are you settling down?”, “when are you going to have children?”, “aren’t you too old to be doing X?”.
I just don’t understand the rush at all. I wonder how different my life would have been if I took my time, and still had those goals to chase 🤔
I’ve only just recently realized how much of my younger years I’ve spent rushing through to get to the next thing. Always chasing, always hurrying. I’m also a nurse, and I remember all those years ago that I couldn’t wait to be where I’m at now. But it isn’t the career we’re told it will be, and I’ve been unhappy with it for quite a while. Then, it was on to the next thing, except I didn’t know what that would be exactly. I’ve realized that between the stressors of having this career, and always rushing myself toward “something better”, I’ve been the main source of my own burnout. I’ve been stepping back, allowing myself to relax and just be. I’m glad you’ve also found your way to a simpler, slower life too! Life is too short to always be chasing.
I agree, nursing is not what you expect it to be. It took me a while to realise that I wasn’t happy in the only job I ever wanted to do. It was so sad.
Oh, I was exactly the same. I was absolutely the root of my burnout. I’m so pleased you’ve managed to step back and relax. I hope you can find a happy balance with your career. I do miss nursing, but never enough to go back to that life. Life is too short to be constantly stressed 🤍
Gosh I feel like I can identify with everything you've said in this post. I too was often said to have "an old head on my shoulders" as I was always onto the next thing, the next goal, old before my time. I'm still not completely sure why that was and it's only now I'm in my forties I realise there was no rush, I don't have to be doing all the things, I can enjoy the journey. Thank you for this insightful post.
I’m not sure why I was rushing, constantly, towards the next thing. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I could achieve that goal, and so I did. Maybe it was a distraction too, who knows? I’m just so happy to have found new goals that bring me joy and happiness instead of overwhelm and burnout.
I’m pleased you’ve managed to find happiness in slowing down too. Discovering we can enjoy the journey is such a treat 🤍
This is quite an impactful post - and it makes so much sense. I always felt like I was running after something I needed to achieve. Finishing school with A-Levels, either find a job/go study for a job that I'll probably never work in anyway. For me, though, it all started to slow down in 2012 when I lost my grandmother. My mum and me split our time between our home and my grandfather's place. He needed someone to take care of him, so we split the week. I stopped going to uni and only continued working part-time to pay for gas. The whole rush stopped fully when my grandfather passed away. I tried to grieve (though I probably just pushed it all away to help Mum - not healthy, I know) - but what I really did was to sit down and *think*.
My family has never tried to push me into a certain direction. They supported me with whatever I wanted to try and when I fell on my face, they helped me up in their own way. Their only request was, that I learn something - anything really - so that I have something to fall back on if need be.
That's what I did. I have a job that pays the bills, even if it's not my favourite but it leaves me with enough time to work on what I love and want to do. (And I can finally support my Mom the way she needs and the way she always supported me.)
It's a different path than yours, but I think it still fits in some way.
Thank you, Sue. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this post. Your family sounds wonderfully supportive. How amazing that your job allows you the time to work on what you love and want to do, and that you can return the support to your mum. Thank you for sharing your story 🥰
I nodded along all the way through this! I too was the first to move in with my boyfriend aged 19, first to buy a house, first to have a baby at the same time as graduating and like you I have always felt older than my peers. But now I have reached a point where I feel a bit lost - what happens now? I don't regret having my children when I did, but it is interesting to think what comes next...and realising it's nice just to be present in the moment.
Love this and definitely relate. My half siblings are 14 and 17 years older than me...I think this always led me to wanting to be older and constantly reaching for the next milestone to feel closer to them. This is an exploration I've been moving through over the past few years as well. It feels so freeing to take it month by month (or day by day) instead of constantly reaching for the next best thing.
Yes! I completely understand this. I always wanted to be with them, and that meant me growing up far too fast. Not their fault whatsoever, it was simply me and my way of thinking I’d fit in better with them
This gave me such a feeling of not being alone in this rush. My goals were to have a Masters, study abroad and work at an embassy. I ended up studying 17 years without pause, from 1st grade, to uni, and I had a lovely year in Wales, where my perfect movie started to crack. I couln’t live up to my own expectations, but I rushed on. I’d love to hug that 20 y-old and tell her it’s okay to slow down. 🤍
Aw Sian, I’m sorry you had this experience too. Oh, don’t get me started on what family expect 🤦🏼♀️. My parents are the worst for it and often ask if I’m getting a ‘proper’ job yet, or ask when I’m returning to nursing because ‘this is just a waste’ 🙄. But, they don’t know me or my business and have very little idea what it is that I actually want, and what’s important to me. More money doesn’t mean more happiness to me. I’m on my own path now, and I haven’t been happier. I hope you can find your own path too 🤍🤍
I loved reading this Sophie and learning about your experiences. I honestly don't know how you did it all! But I totally get the feeling, and the need, to rush. My own feeling of needing to rush stems from a lack of patience. I'm naturally very impatient and it's something I'm trying to improve upon. But, like you, I've taken steps to alter how I Iive my life and I feel SO much better for it. Here's to living life on our terms and in our own timeframes 🎉
I’m so pleased you enjoyed reading it, Lyndsay! I don’t know how I managed either 😅. Youthful energy perhaps?
Yes! Here’s to paving our own paths, no matter how long it takes 🙌🏻
What a beautiful read! This really resonated and I'm so grateful to be slowing down more and learning to let life be what it is, rather than constantly try to micro-manage every part of it.
It’s definitely a behaviour that we have to unlearn, isn’t it? I think society does try to rush us. How often do we hear “when are you settling down?”, “when are you going to have children?”, “aren’t you too old to be doing X?”.
I just don’t understand the rush at all. I wonder how different my life would have been if I took my time, and still had those goals to chase 🤔
Yes, that’s so true! Maybe we’d all feel a little bit lighter if we didn’t always hear things like that 🤍
Yes, I am trying to stop micro-managing as well! ✨
We will get there! 🤍
We will! 🤗
Wow, while my 20s were very different from yours, the need, the internal pressure to achieve, to prove myself was there, too.
It crushed me multiple times and the unlearning may be a lifelong process but slowing down has given me so much more than the hustle.
Yes! Slowing down has been the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I’ve removed the pressure and haven’t looked back 🤍🤍
I’ve only just recently realized how much of my younger years I’ve spent rushing through to get to the next thing. Always chasing, always hurrying. I’m also a nurse, and I remember all those years ago that I couldn’t wait to be where I’m at now. But it isn’t the career we’re told it will be, and I’ve been unhappy with it for quite a while. Then, it was on to the next thing, except I didn’t know what that would be exactly. I’ve realized that between the stressors of having this career, and always rushing myself toward “something better”, I’ve been the main source of my own burnout. I’ve been stepping back, allowing myself to relax and just be. I’m glad you’ve also found your way to a simpler, slower life too! Life is too short to always be chasing.
I agree, nursing is not what you expect it to be. It took me a while to realise that I wasn’t happy in the only job I ever wanted to do. It was so sad.
Oh, I was exactly the same. I was absolutely the root of my burnout. I’m so pleased you’ve managed to step back and relax. I hope you can find a happy balance with your career. I do miss nursing, but never enough to go back to that life. Life is too short to be constantly stressed 🤍
Gosh I feel like I can identify with everything you've said in this post. I too was often said to have "an old head on my shoulders" as I was always onto the next thing, the next goal, old before my time. I'm still not completely sure why that was and it's only now I'm in my forties I realise there was no rush, I don't have to be doing all the things, I can enjoy the journey. Thank you for this insightful post.
I’m not sure why I was rushing, constantly, towards the next thing. Maybe I wanted to prove to myself that I could achieve that goal, and so I did. Maybe it was a distraction too, who knows? I’m just so happy to have found new goals that bring me joy and happiness instead of overwhelm and burnout.
I’m pleased you’ve managed to find happiness in slowing down too. Discovering we can enjoy the journey is such a treat 🤍
This is quite an impactful post - and it makes so much sense. I always felt like I was running after something I needed to achieve. Finishing school with A-Levels, either find a job/go study for a job that I'll probably never work in anyway. For me, though, it all started to slow down in 2012 when I lost my grandmother. My mum and me split our time between our home and my grandfather's place. He needed someone to take care of him, so we split the week. I stopped going to uni and only continued working part-time to pay for gas. The whole rush stopped fully when my grandfather passed away. I tried to grieve (though I probably just pushed it all away to help Mum - not healthy, I know) - but what I really did was to sit down and *think*.
My family has never tried to push me into a certain direction. They supported me with whatever I wanted to try and when I fell on my face, they helped me up in their own way. Their only request was, that I learn something - anything really - so that I have something to fall back on if need be.
That's what I did. I have a job that pays the bills, even if it's not my favourite but it leaves me with enough time to work on what I love and want to do. (And I can finally support my Mom the way she needs and the way she always supported me.)
It's a different path than yours, but I think it still fits in some way.
Thank you, Sue. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this post. Your family sounds wonderfully supportive. How amazing that your job allows you the time to work on what you love and want to do, and that you can return the support to your mum. Thank you for sharing your story 🥰
I nodded along all the way through this! I too was the first to move in with my boyfriend aged 19, first to buy a house, first to have a baby at the same time as graduating and like you I have always felt older than my peers. But now I have reached a point where I feel a bit lost - what happens now? I don't regret having my children when I did, but it is interesting to think what comes next...and realising it's nice just to be present in the moment.
Oh we've had quite similar experiences! What happens now? You get to decide. What a treat! 🤩🥰
Love this and definitely relate. My half siblings are 14 and 17 years older than me...I think this always led me to wanting to be older and constantly reaching for the next milestone to feel closer to them. This is an exploration I've been moving through over the past few years as well. It feels so freeing to take it month by month (or day by day) instead of constantly reaching for the next best thing.
Yes! I completely understand this. I always wanted to be with them, and that meant me growing up far too fast. Not their fault whatsoever, it was simply me and my way of thinking I’d fit in better with them
This gave me such a feeling of not being alone in this rush. My goals were to have a Masters, study abroad and work at an embassy. I ended up studying 17 years without pause, from 1st grade, to uni, and I had a lovely year in Wales, where my perfect movie started to crack. I couln’t live up to my own expectations, but I rushed on. I’d love to hug that 20 y-old and tell her it’s okay to slow down. 🤍