What's The Rush? Slow Down!

What do you do when you’ve accomplished everything you sought out to by the time you’re 25?

Hi, I’m Sophie and I write about how to slow down and live a simple more calm life. I’m passionate about slow living and I truly believe that we don’t have to live busy stressful lives. I’d love it if you could subscribe and join my community, it really is a beautiful space to be.

I wish I’d have slowed down from the very start. My entire life has been a race and a rush, and I’m not entirely sure why. Who was I racing? Why did I need to get ahead? What was the rush?

It started when I turned 10. “I’m in double digits now, I’m practically a teenager!” I proclaimed to my family, even though I still had 3 years to go until I was officially a teenager.

My older sisters have 12 years on me, and all I wanted was to fit in with them. I wanted to be older before I was ready. I wanted to join in their conversation, and relate to them. I tried, but it only made me feel less than.

If you ask my family, they’ll tell you that I was old for my age. Everyone who I meet says the same. I have never fit in with peers my own age. I just couldn’t relate to them. I’d been there, done that and was onto the next thing. 

Six months after meeting my husband we moved in together. Again, I’m not sure why we rushed into that. I mean, it would have saved us both a lot of money if we’d stayed with our parents for longer, but, nevertheless, we decided that age 17 & 18 was the perfect time to rent a little studio flat together. It didn’t achieve much but the beginning of our debt journey. 

Drinking alcohol bored me so I stopped that at 19. I was onto the next challenge. I wanted to get to university. No one in my family had been to uni before, and I was determined to break the mould. So I knuckled down in college and finished with A*s. Uni here I come!

Don’t get me wrong, university was challenging. I had a house to pay for, as well as bills to pay, a degree to study for, as well as working full time on work placements (unpaid). You’d have thought I had my hands full, but no. I needed to rush into the next thing… being a mum. 

Now, I want you to know that I absolutely love my children, and I don’t regret them one bit, but why the rush when I’d just enrolled in my university course? Why didn’t I wait until I’d finished my degree, settled into a job and then thought about having children? Because I wanted to rush.

My university course was 3 years long. I became pregnant in my first year, had her in my second year, fell pregnant in my second year, and had him in my third year. What on earth was I thinking? Looking back I have no idea how I managed it, what was the rush?

By age 25 I’d achieved everything I set out to. I had my own home with my boyfriend (now husband), I’d learned to drive and bought a car, I’d finished college getting the best grades and got into uni, I’d become a mum, I’d graduated, qualified, and was working as a nurse, I’d gotten married, oh and I’d started my own business in that time too!

But, what was next? For the first time in my life I was lost. I didn’t have a plan, and that left me feeling uneasy. It’s a strange feeling when you’ve ‘completed’ your goals. I wasn’t happy. I was overworked, underpaid, missing out on special moments with my family, oh, and I was in a lot of debt. It turns out achieving your goals isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

It took me getting everything I wanted to realise it wasn’t what I wanted at all. What I wanted was to spend time with my family. I wanted to slow down, have less stress, earn an income around my children, and pay off debt. Nothing, then, what I currently had. I needed to start over.

I think we should all be allowed to Etch a sketch our lives and say, “I thought this is the life I wanted, but it’s not, and so I’m going to start over again.” - Erwin McManus

This is when I decided that I needed to do something about it. I suppose it felt quite freeing, liberating even, to be given a fresh slate without goals. I didn’t have anything to lose, but everything to gain. This is when I decided to get off the road well trodden, and start paving my own path. I was going to live a simpler, more intentional life. This would become my goal.

“All I really want is a small, slow, simple life. A mediocre life. A beautiful, quiet, gentle life. I think it is enough” - Unknown

So, I left the only work I’d even known, and went full time in my business. I worked when my children were at school, and I got to decide my hours, meaning I could attend every Sports Day, and every Christmas play. I simplified my life, my home and my diary. I said no to anything that didn’t align with my values, and I put myself first. And, most importantly, I could spend my evenings and weekends with my favourite people in the world - the best gift I’ve ever been able to give myself.

My goals and intentions are now set on a month by month basis, depending on how I feel, my energy levels, and what I have planned each month. They’re flexible, not rigid, and they’re based on my values, not on rushing towards an empty, heartless goal.

When I stopped chasing what I thought I wanted, and started living life by my values, not by a rulebook, my world, my life, my happiness and my relationships improved more than you can imagine.

I hope that you read this and realise that there’s no rush in life. Slow down, enjoy your journey through life, wherever it may take you. What’s meant for you won’t pass you by.

“I don’t wish achieving your dreams on anyone” - Jim Carrey

Until next time,

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