19 Comments
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Myndie's avatar

Bless you for sharing this! I'm a single mama to a son with special needs and I so appreciate hearing from someone in a similar situation. As my son's occupational therapist recently said, "Parents who only ever need to take their kids to well-child checkups just don't understand." Regarding sleep, my little woke 3-5 times per night for the first 18 months and is just now beginning to sleep through the night with one wake-up at 34 months. His physical therapist recommended supplementing with iron and magnesium, as deficiencies can cause sleep issues. It made a massive difference in the first couple of weeks. Maybe something to check with your GP about? Either way, you are doing a wonderful job. Hang in there, mama, and take a few moments for yourself when you can. You've got this.

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

Yes! Myndie, I completely agree. I think with my older two children I was so lucky to have healthy, typical children that I knew no different. William has opened my eyes to so much, especially all of the different professionals and how they can help and support him/us. So grateful to the NHS.

Ah, we have! He currently takes regular iron as he's anaemic and we give him a magnesium supplement every night, although, it hasn't worked for us with his sleep.

Thank you so much for your lovely comment, I really appreciate your support 🥰

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Amy Clark's avatar

My husband and I have a son with special needs as well, and I remember those days so well. You're doing a wonderful job, mama. Keep going day by day. Sending you love.

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

Aw, thank you for sharing that, Amy! I'm hoping they'll be a distant memory some time soon 🥰

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Jessica Tefenkgi Ruelle's avatar

Thank you Sophie for sharing this part of your life. You’re an amazing mom, honestly. 🙏 to taking life day by day. You’ve got this.

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Jessica Alice's avatar

I love this Sophie, and I can feel your pain when you talk about 'grieving the child you didn't have/could've had' etc. I'm sure this post was difficult to write, and I just hope that we here on Substack are enough of a safe and supportive community for you to do such vulnerability justice :)

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

I was quite nervous to share this, it was difficult to write and I don't want to come across as not liking William 😅. The response I've had has been really supportive and understanding which has been wonderful. I do think it's important to talk about our experiences, and let others know that two things can be true at the same time - it's a difficult period of our lives, but we also have a lot of joy too. I grieve for the child I didn't have, but I celebrate, admire and love the child I do have so much 🥰

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Mackenzie's avatar

Sending you hugs Sophie xx

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Johanna Journey's avatar

Send you strengh 💛

I discovered Substack thanks to you, it changed my creative life, i won't let you ! I support you energeticaly !

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

Aww thank you, Johanna! I really appreciate that 🥰

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Kate Harvey's avatar

Such a lot for you Sophie. I often find writing things through helps me understand things better. So beautifully expressed. He's a cutie too.💛

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

Thanks, Kate! I really do think writing has been my saviour these last 2 years. He is 🥰

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Nadja de Oliveira's avatar

Thank you for sharing and wonderful words of honesty! I hope wee William will soon be strong and this can become a thing of the past. Sending you hugs to you xx

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

Thank you, Nadja! 🥰 Me too, I'm hoping we can look back at this period and be like "do you remember that crazy time?!"

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Lauren Barber's avatar

Ahhh your gorgeous boy, what an honest and beautiful piece. Sending you so much love Mama, you are doing amazingly xxxx

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

Aw, thanks so much Lauren 🥰

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Hilda Scheenstra's avatar

I’m so sorry to hear, sending you much love ❤️❤️❤️

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Sandra Hansen's avatar

Wow! You are amazing. Keeping everything in perspective. I wish you joy in those small precious moments ✨️ ❤️

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Sophie Ingleby's avatar

Thank you, Sandra ❤️

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