Post natal depression, Global Development Delay & hitting rock bottom. On the 21st March 2024 I was diagnosed with post natal depression. Odd, you may think, seeing as my baby was almost 13 months old at the time. But true. You see, I knew there was something not quite right with my mental health for a long time before I spoke to a doctor. I’d say a good 6 months+.
I re-read this today, as I prepare some questions for our little collab. 😊 And I believe you can still share honestly under the ‘simple & calm’ umbrella. I’ve had times where I’ve felt I couldn’t write about contentment because I was feeling crap, so I feel you! But I also think it’s good for people to see that someone who values calm simplicity will still experience challenges along the way. Simple & calm is about what you value and aspire to, and doesn’t have to be exactly who you are/where you’re at in every season of your life. ❤️ It’s aspirational and people can still learn from your words and experiences.
Hi Sophie, sending you a warm hug from Florida. I struggled with depression for about 20 years (thank goodness I’m set free now though) and I also just had a baby a few months ago, so this newsletter caught my eye. Thank you for sharing your heart here with us. What you are carrying is so heavy and I’m glad this publication is a place where you can set it down. Your vulnerability is honest. Your pain is valid. And as a therapist, I’ll affirm that if you want to speak to a female therapist to feel more understood and seen, that sounds like a great idea. There might be a therapist out there for you that’s an even better fit. It won’t be this way forever ♥️
Thank you so much for sharing. I've had depression and anxiety on an off though my life. Being a new mother is difficult and the hormones. My son had colic it was so difficult. He would continously cry. I blamed myself. It wasn't me though. He was in pain from colic and that did eventually improved with medication and his body maturing. I'm on the other side now with menopause and a teen ready to enter the world. Another rebirth. Neither is easy. Depression and anxiety with hormonal changes is a real thing
I hope to see more of your writing. I write for myself. I write to work though issue. Most of what I write is raw and I tell myself that ok
Sending you a big virtual hug
Your post read so well by the way and it kept my attention. To the end. You have a gift ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. The postpartum period can be so so hard, and yet we sometimes can brush it off and try to keep going when we really should slow down and get some help. My story is different to yours, and I’m sending you so much love for all you’ve been through, but I too have found this first year to be such a rollercoaster, with what my friend described as the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Thank you for speaking so honestly.
This is such a wonderfully raw honest and poignant post. Telling your story is all you need to do. There is no pressure, I think, to change the name, or be clear to others about what this is or isn’t. Perhaps makes this a space about you, who you are and what you feel. One of my favourite quotes is “your writing will always be medicine for someone”, so just keep writing with no pressure. Sending hugs from London xx
I have dealt with depression for the last 20 years but in the last 10 years I discovered something that works really well to help me with it and that is 2 supplements and I wanted to tell you what they are and maybe they could help you too. They are SAM-e and Ashwaghanda. I don’t know if you take any medication for it or not but I tried prescription medication and it made things worse which was why I tried to find something natural. Also what helps me tremendously is being a Christian and attending church regularly. I know that’s not for everyone but it is a tremendous help to me! I also wanted to tell you that I can sympathize with you as far as your child. I have an autistic son who is 23 and I know how it feels to be uncertain about his future or if he will talk or not. My son didn’t talk till he was 4 years old. But I never let anyone tell me he couldn’t do anything or learn anything. People tried but they didn’t know my God and what he could do! He did some amazing things with my son! I will pray for you because I’ve been where you are at and I want you to know that there is hope! Sending my love and prayers! Kate 💜
Let Substack be whatever you need it to be. Reading your words I could envision my mother through your experience. I’m the eldest and was known for being “an easy baby” but when my brother came he cried constantly (literally) and for some reason never seemed to sleep at all. Child nurses suspected he would be diagnosed with ADHD and ASD as he got older (they also told her they suspected neurodivergency in both her children but she couldn’t quite take all that on). We’re now 28 and 30 and our lives are incredibly full. I so deeply wish for the revillaging of motherhood, for the diversity of young mothers and seasoned mothers, for shared wisdom and layered perspectives. Sending you so much love on your journey x
I'm sending lots of love from Germany. I can totally relate to the sleep deprivation part. It's the babies' needs vs. ours, I guess.
I'm breastfeeding my half-asleep six-month-old as I am typing this comment. I'm 42 and had a miscarriage before him. My partner and I met quite late so our son will most probably remain our only child. I love him so much. At the same time I am so exhausted. He doesn't accept a dummy or a bottle so I am in charge any time he's hungry, only I can put him to sleep or calm him down. I never thought sleep deprivation would push me to the edge. Sometimes I'm angry, other times, I just wanna cry, just wanna stay in bed for two days. And of course it's hard to make time for writing or reading. I often feel resentful. And on other days I'm able to surrender again. Every day is different.
I would say just keep writing, keep the title of your publication. You don't need to know now where the journey is going.
Please don't delete your account. Let this post be a turning point, and allow the healing journey and the tough realities you've been walking through be part of the story. Integrating these authentic challenges into the fabric of your story helps others. I have never had kids but I have lived through a time that was humbling and very tough much like you described. I have experience living with someone neurodivergent, and though I love this person dearly, it involved some grieving and personal struggles to figure out how to adapt and love well in the midst of some frustrations and communication challenges. That's ongoing to be honest, but I eventually emerged from that darker time stronger and able to pursue my own dreams and make the most of this life, both shared and individually. I remember during that rough time, I felt shame. You see, I have a masters in counseling and I have always loved helping others heal and grow and navigate really tough times. I specialized in rehabilitation, so I worked with neurodivergent kids and their families sometimes in my earlier days. I wrote a workbook on grief associated with health issues the year I was finally diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It's not that I had never struggled, but when I felt hopeless and quit writing because I felt like I had nothing to say a few years ago, I felt lost. I quit using FB for quite awhile, which was fine. I didn't know about Substack yet. But when former clients or friends reached out and shared how much they appreciated me, inside I felt embarrassed that I'd let life beat me down to this extent. I have a number of close friends who are counselors or other professionals and they recognized how much I was struggling. They helped, and the sturdy presence of even one friend can make such a difference. My husband helped me a lot, too, though it was hard for him. I am writing a book called Tenderly Transformed: Growing and Healing Through Turbulent Times. Your story was touching to me. I could relate. I have never thought about whether it would apply with parenting, but learning about the term Cassandra Syndrome was very helpful to me. Relating to someone who isn't always able to respond with empathy or when basic communication goes awry often, or when their words can be very invalidating (though not intentionally so) can really deplete a person. That's what I realized had happened to me. I felt very stuck for awhile. But I recognize now there's no shame in struggling. We are humans. Life is hard. It's okay. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story. I pray that your family and your young child and you all adapt over time to whatever this means for your futures. I think you will. I resumed my work with clients and writing, and the joy this brings me fills up my cup. I find life very fulfilling again and I'm so grateful. I am glad to discover your Substack this morning.
hey you! I say keep it and just write whatever the hell you like because whenever you write, it's always something worth reading. However with all the other things you have going on, also how about at this point in time you don't make any decisions or commitments and just use it as a space to come to and write when you feel called to? I also want to sweep away this notion about 'who are you to teach being simple and calm' etc. I never want to learn anything from anyone who isn't on or hasn't been on some kind of journey or battlefield even. in your case, posts about finding pockets of calm and simplicity from someone whose life can feel anything but is SO much more meaningful than from those who can do that via privilege or from having made life choices that make that easier to do. They re not my people. People like you are. xxx
Be gentle with yourself. You brought a whole human into this world. Just being a human is hard; raising a human is an added layer. You're doing great. <3
Re: talk therapy ... there are also other types of therapy that might be a better fit - somatic therapy, narrative therapy ... sometimes it's worth sticking with one for a while while researching others. For what it's worth. It's so frustrating when it's hard to even get that help in the first place and I'm so glad you were able to find it. You'll find your way. <3
Hallo Sophie, it was so nice to see a post from you this morning 💗 Sorry things have been so rough for you and I am happy to hear that you are feeling better. For what it’s worth, I like your publication name of Simple and Calm and I feel like you can write about whatever you want here. Ultimately, we all want a simple and calm life no matter the ebbs and flows that life throws at us. Share what you want, we will be here to read 🤗 xx
I also think keeping your Substack title and then talking about your healing journey would be kinda fun. It’s all part of it, right? How to be working towards things being simple & calm even when they’re anything but, even when you’ll probably never get there? This is how I see it for myself, anyways ✨
I re-read this today, as I prepare some questions for our little collab. 😊 And I believe you can still share honestly under the ‘simple & calm’ umbrella. I’ve had times where I’ve felt I couldn’t write about contentment because I was feeling crap, so I feel you! But I also think it’s good for people to see that someone who values calm simplicity will still experience challenges along the way. Simple & calm is about what you value and aspire to, and doesn’t have to be exactly who you are/where you’re at in every season of your life. ❤️ It’s aspirational and people can still learn from your words and experiences.
Thank you so much for sharing your heart ❤️
Hi Sophie, sending you a warm hug from Florida. I struggled with depression for about 20 years (thank goodness I’m set free now though) and I also just had a baby a few months ago, so this newsletter caught my eye. Thank you for sharing your heart here with us. What you are carrying is so heavy and I’m glad this publication is a place where you can set it down. Your vulnerability is honest. Your pain is valid. And as a therapist, I’ll affirm that if you want to speak to a female therapist to feel more understood and seen, that sounds like a great idea. There might be a therapist out there for you that’s an even better fit. It won’t be this way forever ♥️
Just write. It usually all comes together and starts to make sense with hindsight 😍
Thank you so much for sharing. I've had depression and anxiety on an off though my life. Being a new mother is difficult and the hormones. My son had colic it was so difficult. He would continously cry. I blamed myself. It wasn't me though. He was in pain from colic and that did eventually improved with medication and his body maturing. I'm on the other side now with menopause and a teen ready to enter the world. Another rebirth. Neither is easy. Depression and anxiety with hormonal changes is a real thing
I hope to see more of your writing. I write for myself. I write to work though issue. Most of what I write is raw and I tell myself that ok
Sending you a big virtual hug
Your post read so well by the way and it kept my attention. To the end. You have a gift ❤️
Thank you for sharing this. The postpartum period can be so so hard, and yet we sometimes can brush it off and try to keep going when we really should slow down and get some help. My story is different to yours, and I’m sending you so much love for all you’ve been through, but I too have found this first year to be such a rollercoaster, with what my friend described as the highest of highs and the lowest of lows. Thank you for speaking so honestly.
This is such a wonderfully raw honest and poignant post. Telling your story is all you need to do. There is no pressure, I think, to change the name, or be clear to others about what this is or isn’t. Perhaps makes this a space about you, who you are and what you feel. One of my favourite quotes is “your writing will always be medicine for someone”, so just keep writing with no pressure. Sending hugs from London xx
I have dealt with depression for the last 20 years but in the last 10 years I discovered something that works really well to help me with it and that is 2 supplements and I wanted to tell you what they are and maybe they could help you too. They are SAM-e and Ashwaghanda. I don’t know if you take any medication for it or not but I tried prescription medication and it made things worse which was why I tried to find something natural. Also what helps me tremendously is being a Christian and attending church regularly. I know that’s not for everyone but it is a tremendous help to me! I also wanted to tell you that I can sympathize with you as far as your child. I have an autistic son who is 23 and I know how it feels to be uncertain about his future or if he will talk or not. My son didn’t talk till he was 4 years old. But I never let anyone tell me he couldn’t do anything or learn anything. People tried but they didn’t know my God and what he could do! He did some amazing things with my son! I will pray for you because I’ve been where you are at and I want you to know that there is hope! Sending my love and prayers! Kate 💜
Let Substack be whatever you need it to be. Reading your words I could envision my mother through your experience. I’m the eldest and was known for being “an easy baby” but when my brother came he cried constantly (literally) and for some reason never seemed to sleep at all. Child nurses suspected he would be diagnosed with ADHD and ASD as he got older (they also told her they suspected neurodivergency in both her children but she couldn’t quite take all that on). We’re now 28 and 30 and our lives are incredibly full. I so deeply wish for the revillaging of motherhood, for the diversity of young mothers and seasoned mothers, for shared wisdom and layered perspectives. Sending you so much love on your journey x
You are so incredibly brave and it’s a pleasure to know you. Here for you. 💕✨💫
Also - Don’t delete this Substack! 🤍
Dear Sophie,
I'm sending lots of love from Germany. I can totally relate to the sleep deprivation part. It's the babies' needs vs. ours, I guess.
I'm breastfeeding my half-asleep six-month-old as I am typing this comment. I'm 42 and had a miscarriage before him. My partner and I met quite late so our son will most probably remain our only child. I love him so much. At the same time I am so exhausted. He doesn't accept a dummy or a bottle so I am in charge any time he's hungry, only I can put him to sleep or calm him down. I never thought sleep deprivation would push me to the edge. Sometimes I'm angry, other times, I just wanna cry, just wanna stay in bed for two days. And of course it's hard to make time for writing or reading. I often feel resentful. And on other days I'm able to surrender again. Every day is different.
I would say just keep writing, keep the title of your publication. You don't need to know now where the journey is going.
Hugs 💐
Anna
Please don't delete your account. Let this post be a turning point, and allow the healing journey and the tough realities you've been walking through be part of the story. Integrating these authentic challenges into the fabric of your story helps others. I have never had kids but I have lived through a time that was humbling and very tough much like you described. I have experience living with someone neurodivergent, and though I love this person dearly, it involved some grieving and personal struggles to figure out how to adapt and love well in the midst of some frustrations and communication challenges. That's ongoing to be honest, but I eventually emerged from that darker time stronger and able to pursue my own dreams and make the most of this life, both shared and individually. I remember during that rough time, I felt shame. You see, I have a masters in counseling and I have always loved helping others heal and grow and navigate really tough times. I specialized in rehabilitation, so I worked with neurodivergent kids and their families sometimes in my earlier days. I wrote a workbook on grief associated with health issues the year I was finally diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. It's not that I had never struggled, but when I felt hopeless and quit writing because I felt like I had nothing to say a few years ago, I felt lost. I quit using FB for quite awhile, which was fine. I didn't know about Substack yet. But when former clients or friends reached out and shared how much they appreciated me, inside I felt embarrassed that I'd let life beat me down to this extent. I have a number of close friends who are counselors or other professionals and they recognized how much I was struggling. They helped, and the sturdy presence of even one friend can make such a difference. My husband helped me a lot, too, though it was hard for him. I am writing a book called Tenderly Transformed: Growing and Healing Through Turbulent Times. Your story was touching to me. I could relate. I have never thought about whether it would apply with parenting, but learning about the term Cassandra Syndrome was very helpful to me. Relating to someone who isn't always able to respond with empathy or when basic communication goes awry often, or when their words can be very invalidating (though not intentionally so) can really deplete a person. That's what I realized had happened to me. I felt very stuck for awhile. But I recognize now there's no shame in struggling. We are humans. Life is hard. It's okay. Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing your story. I pray that your family and your young child and you all adapt over time to whatever this means for your futures. I think you will. I resumed my work with clients and writing, and the joy this brings me fills up my cup. I find life very fulfilling again and I'm so grateful. I am glad to discover your Substack this morning.
I second that!!
hey you! I say keep it and just write whatever the hell you like because whenever you write, it's always something worth reading. However with all the other things you have going on, also how about at this point in time you don't make any decisions or commitments and just use it as a space to come to and write when you feel called to? I also want to sweep away this notion about 'who are you to teach being simple and calm' etc. I never want to learn anything from anyone who isn't on or hasn't been on some kind of journey or battlefield even. in your case, posts about finding pockets of calm and simplicity from someone whose life can feel anything but is SO much more meaningful than from those who can do that via privilege or from having made life choices that make that easier to do. They re not my people. People like you are. xxx
Be gentle with yourself. You brought a whole human into this world. Just being a human is hard; raising a human is an added layer. You're doing great. <3
Re: talk therapy ... there are also other types of therapy that might be a better fit - somatic therapy, narrative therapy ... sometimes it's worth sticking with one for a while while researching others. For what it's worth. It's so frustrating when it's hard to even get that help in the first place and I'm so glad you were able to find it. You'll find your way. <3
Hallo Sophie, it was so nice to see a post from you this morning 💗 Sorry things have been so rough for you and I am happy to hear that you are feeling better. For what it’s worth, I like your publication name of Simple and Calm and I feel like you can write about whatever you want here. Ultimately, we all want a simple and calm life no matter the ebbs and flows that life throws at us. Share what you want, we will be here to read 🤗 xx
I appreciate you ❤️
I also think keeping your Substack title and then talking about your healing journey would be kinda fun. It’s all part of it, right? How to be working towards things being simple & calm even when they’re anything but, even when you’ll probably never get there? This is how I see it for myself, anyways ✨