I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles but how brave to post this! I can completely relate. Although I don't have children, I still find myself overwhelmed and guilty that I'm not living the 'perfect' slow life I preach. Its a work in progress and I'm sure you will find a balance that works for you. Stay well! ❤
This piece was so good and vulnerable, one thing I always remember when adversity hits, when everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
Oh Sophie, I have so been there so you're definitely not alone in that. And you're right, things are temporary, and it will change. I am sending you all the positive thoughts and well wishes.
Thank you for sharing this Sophie, hopefully everything looks up and one by one, you can see sunshine again. Praying for more peace and solutions in your life.
It’s so lovely to hear from you, your words have been missed. I hope everything works out soon, so you can get your stress levels down and your body can feel safe and cared for. As a recovering burnout atm, I can feel you, and I really do hear you. ♥️
Thank you for sharing this Sophie, I've missed reading your words and this is an incredibly brave post. I'm sending love and hugs your way. Nothing lasts forever, be kind to yourself 💜
Sophie this is brave, raw , relatable and beautifully written. I am so gald that you decided to share it as I know it is also going to help other people reading it as much as I hope that it will have helped you to express yourself in this way. You are enough, you are resilient and asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness so call in the troops if you can and get some scaffolding in to support you. And remember that you are also teaching your children such valuable lessons in how to manage when things are tough, on how resilience is built and how it is important not only to be compassionate to others but also to ourselves. Take care.
I'm so sorry you have had such a rough few months, Sophie. I have been wondering how you were as I knew I hadn't seen your posts in a while. I am sorry you are going through such a tough time but I am glad you are taking your time to reassess Substack and how and if you can fit it in. It is definitely all temporary. Take care of yourself. 🖤
2023 was challenging for most. And your year eclipsed many. Writing this post was a giant step forward in brushing off the last of that remnant energy. I’m clapping for you!
What is your best next step? What is most important to you and where is your support (physical, emotional, spiritual)?
Asking for help and feeling deep gratitude are key.
Dearest Sophie, thank you for your heartfelt, courageous post. I’ve learned to add two words during challenging times - for now. For now it sucks but it will get better. ❤️🩹
I too wondered where you’d gone but from concern. Different phases of our lives require different approaches to our work, family and time. If writing helps you through this difficult time, write for yourself. If you need witnesses, publish and we will honor that. If it’s just writing to get through the day, do that.
This too shall pass. As all mothers know, our children grow up quickly. I’m lucky to have had the fortune to stay home with my baby and then work part time in his early years. We cut back a lot and lived in someone else’s house but I have no regrets.
I kept writing for myself. Years later I paid off our debt and started a business. It’s why I added the words For Now.
Make no apologies for how you face this time in your life. Reach out for support. I will offer you a session with me should you need to talk about managing your life or business if you think it would help.
Oh my goodness this is such a lot. And so very much not your fault. The system is so incredibly broken in terms of support for parents. We end up thinking we are doing something wrong when actually we’re not. We are doing so much right with so much love. I’m glad things seem to have turned a corner but please go gently. Sharing your dreams and ideas for living a slow life on here becomes even better when there’s that honesty about the realities. So thank you for being brave enough to do so. Sending love (p.s I know an excellent woman who has been mooting becoming freelance VA. Just incase sharing the load with another woman might be an option that sparks joy...)
I can so relate to being felt let down by the childcare system, Sophie.
I have been forced out of my job due to
Cost of childcare and because I have limited childcare I am struggling to get enough work to secure more childcare which i need to get more work. It’s a trap a catch 22 and I don’t know how to get out of it!
I need to find enough work to keep my childcare funding too which is feeling impossible. Unlike you I haven’t seen my business grow but I am very direct about what I can and can’t take on ( I only have one day! People don’t want to work weekends with me) so I haven’t been able to agree to any decent amount of work. The solution could be to lie and find work but telling people that I’m working during the day but actually work all night and with two
Small children to look after during the day I know I am heading for burn out if I do.
Why are we expected to do it all?
I wrote a piece about why it is so hard looking after kids with no family around. Maybe this is you too?
Anyway solidarity. I don’t have any solutions or advice other than to say something has to give.
My partner tells me it won’t be forever. They’ll be at school eventually and I’m holding on to that.
I have been wondering if you were OK. I totally relate having brought up four children and three stepchildren. And I remember the resentment at having to do it all including working.
It is temporary but it's not easy when you're in the middle of it. All I can say is, now my children are all grown up, we got through. We still have three of them living with us. Different time. Different challenges. And I am still trying to work out how I can make a career of writing while still recovering from years of stress.
The most important thing is taking care of yourself and your children right now. I hope you take your time getting through this. It looks like most of us will still be here when you are ready and able to come back. Right now you have other priorities and I honour you for honouring yourself and your own needs. 💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing this important piece. Your feelings are normal and you’ll get through! I think ‘the internet’ can paint such unrealistic expectations and your courage to post this is refreshing and useful to other mums with young kids. You’ve risen to meet your challenges and I’m sure will find the balance you need. I expect you’re doing better than you think. Ask for help as much as you can, I wish I’d done that more when my daughter was small! 🩷
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles but how brave to post this! I can completely relate. Although I don't have children, I still find myself overwhelmed and guilty that I'm not living the 'perfect' slow life I preach. Its a work in progress and I'm sure you will find a balance that works for you. Stay well! ❤
This piece was so good and vulnerable, one thing I always remember when adversity hits, when everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it.
That's a beautiful reminder!
Oh Sophie, I have so been there so you're definitely not alone in that. And you're right, things are temporary, and it will change. I am sending you all the positive thoughts and well wishes.
Giving you a big, tight, hug!!! It’s going to be darkest before the dawn. Hang in there.
Thank you for sharing this Sophie, hopefully everything looks up and one by one, you can see sunshine again. Praying for more peace and solutions in your life.
Love,
It’s so lovely to hear from you, your words have been missed. I hope everything works out soon, so you can get your stress levels down and your body can feel safe and cared for. As a recovering burnout atm, I can feel you, and I really do hear you. ♥️
Thank you for sharing this Sophie, I've missed reading your words and this is an incredibly brave post. I'm sending love and hugs your way. Nothing lasts forever, be kind to yourself 💜
Sophie this is brave, raw , relatable and beautifully written. I am so gald that you decided to share it as I know it is also going to help other people reading it as much as I hope that it will have helped you to express yourself in this way. You are enough, you are resilient and asking for help is a sign of strength not weakness so call in the troops if you can and get some scaffolding in to support you. And remember that you are also teaching your children such valuable lessons in how to manage when things are tough, on how resilience is built and how it is important not only to be compassionate to others but also to ourselves. Take care.
I'm so sorry you have had such a rough few months, Sophie. I have been wondering how you were as I knew I hadn't seen your posts in a while. I am sorry you are going through such a tough time but I am glad you are taking your time to reassess Substack and how and if you can fit it in. It is definitely all temporary. Take care of yourself. 🖤
2023 was challenging for most. And your year eclipsed many. Writing this post was a giant step forward in brushing off the last of that remnant energy. I’m clapping for you!
What is your best next step? What is most important to you and where is your support (physical, emotional, spiritual)?
Asking for help and feeling deep gratitude are key.
Sending you healing energy ❤️🩹💖
Dawn
Dearest Sophie, thank you for your heartfelt, courageous post. I’ve learned to add two words during challenging times - for now. For now it sucks but it will get better. ❤️🩹
I too wondered where you’d gone but from concern. Different phases of our lives require different approaches to our work, family and time. If writing helps you through this difficult time, write for yourself. If you need witnesses, publish and we will honor that. If it’s just writing to get through the day, do that.
This too shall pass. As all mothers know, our children grow up quickly. I’m lucky to have had the fortune to stay home with my baby and then work part time in his early years. We cut back a lot and lived in someone else’s house but I have no regrets.
I kept writing for myself. Years later I paid off our debt and started a business. It’s why I added the words For Now.
Make no apologies for how you face this time in your life. Reach out for support. I will offer you a session with me should you need to talk about managing your life or business if you think it would help.
Be kind to yourself. 🤗
Oh my goodness this is such a lot. And so very much not your fault. The system is so incredibly broken in terms of support for parents. We end up thinking we are doing something wrong when actually we’re not. We are doing so much right with so much love. I’m glad things seem to have turned a corner but please go gently. Sharing your dreams and ideas for living a slow life on here becomes even better when there’s that honesty about the realities. So thank you for being brave enough to do so. Sending love (p.s I know an excellent woman who has been mooting becoming freelance VA. Just incase sharing the load with another woman might be an option that sparks joy...)
I can so relate to being felt let down by the childcare system, Sophie.
I have been forced out of my job due to
Cost of childcare and because I have limited childcare I am struggling to get enough work to secure more childcare which i need to get more work. It’s a trap a catch 22 and I don’t know how to get out of it!
I need to find enough work to keep my childcare funding too which is feeling impossible. Unlike you I haven’t seen my business grow but I am very direct about what I can and can’t take on ( I only have one day! People don’t want to work weekends with me) so I haven’t been able to agree to any decent amount of work. The solution could be to lie and find work but telling people that I’m working during the day but actually work all night and with two
Small children to look after during the day I know I am heading for burn out if I do.
Why are we expected to do it all?
I wrote a piece about why it is so hard looking after kids with no family around. Maybe this is you too?
Anyway solidarity. I don’t have any solutions or advice other than to say something has to give.
My partner tells me it won’t be forever. They’ll be at school eventually and I’m holding on to that.
Temporary IS the word because this really will all pass. Big hugs x x x
I have been wondering if you were OK. I totally relate having brought up four children and three stepchildren. And I remember the resentment at having to do it all including working.
It is temporary but it's not easy when you're in the middle of it. All I can say is, now my children are all grown up, we got through. We still have three of them living with us. Different time. Different challenges. And I am still trying to work out how I can make a career of writing while still recovering from years of stress.
The most important thing is taking care of yourself and your children right now. I hope you take your time getting through this. It looks like most of us will still be here when you are ready and able to come back. Right now you have other priorities and I honour you for honouring yourself and your own needs. 💜💜💜
Thank you for sharing this important piece. Your feelings are normal and you’ll get through! I think ‘the internet’ can paint such unrealistic expectations and your courage to post this is refreshing and useful to other mums with young kids. You’ve risen to meet your challenges and I’m sure will find the balance you need. I expect you’re doing better than you think. Ask for help as much as you can, I wish I’d done that more when my daughter was small! 🩷