...and my new dreams to fix my real world. That’s the thing about slow living, I don’t think it really exists. I think it’s something we imagine, it’s made up and we just play along. At least, I used to play along. Real life, however, is far from simple. I just don’t understand how I can live a slow life as a parent of 3, newly discovered neurodivergent, in charge of raising neurodiverse children, one with unpredictable health issues, all the while battling with postnatal depression, whilst trying not to get into more d
I love this powerful acknowledgement that while we can make choices to simplify our lives, slow living in the modern world is a fantasy for many of us. I love the new direction you’re moving, Sophie, and I’m excited to see where the intersection of valuing simplicity and creative business leads.
I agree, I think like many things, it’s a privilege to live a truly slow life. I also have accepted that I can’t live a completely slow life, especially as a full time working mum. But I can introduce more slowness to my days. This slowness helps me be present and appreciate what I have, which calms my nervous system.
Sending you love and strength to get through this rough patch ❤️
Ah, you're so right Chelsie! I definitely can't live a completely slow life, but I too can introduce more slowness to my days. That feels so freeing to me, because I don't feel like I'm 'failing' at it by not living a complete slow life, but can do more to find more moments of slow. Does that make sense? 😅
Aww hun what a challenging time you have had. I wanted to offer a little supportive note to say that I do think slow living can exist. I think there’s a big difference between the idealised aesthetic of what slow living is and the practical reality. For example, to me slow living means having a messy house because I need rest and then not judging myself for it, rather than being minimalist. In some seasons of life, slow living will mean being very busy focussing on priorities - so those skills on learning how to say no come into their own when you have a health crisis. Slow living doesn’t mean easy living, it is a point on the horizon keeping you steady in the hard times. Lean on slow living, it still has gifts for you in an overwhelming world so focussed on consumption!
You're so right, Rachelle! Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I love how you say it's a point on the horizon keeping you steady in the hard times. This feels so comforting to me, thank you! 🥰
A lot of this is why I subscribe to slow AND gentle living, because up against 'the world', I realised one of the most important things was to be gentle with myself, and once I did- things didn't magically get easier or better but I WAS easier and better with myself and so I felt strong enough to tackle what was in front of me. As for slow living, I 100% believe in it, but more as a guiding philosophy - it won't take away stress or slow life down but it will encourage those moments big and small to rejuvenate you more and will help you uncover gratitude, and an energy that moves alongside life. It is not easy, and I wish you all the best. I am so happy you are back here and I am looking forward to reading about your journey.
I 100% agree, I feel like I'm at ease with myself now. I think I was being resistant to the new direction my life was going in, but actually, I just need to accept and adapt, and I think I've done that after this post.
Yes! Yes to all of this! It's about looking for those slow and joyful moments amidst the chaos of life. Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate it 🥰
It sounds like you're figuring out how slow living can work for you in this new season of life. Don't be afraid to change and evolve 💕 also would love to collaborate!
I'm getting there, slowly 😅. I haven't written it off completely, more like I've adapted and, like you say, evolved. I feel so much better for it. Yes please to a collab, I'd love that! 🩶
Thank you for voicing the choice to include both sides in one Substack. I had the same question coming up last week, if I should start a new substack for a similar business venture like yours (offering technical and strategic guidance for new coaches) and now you show me that it all can be done in one thing.
I'm sorry for what you're experiencing in your life and as a small business owner I understand where you're coming from. I'm not sure that slow living is about calm, though. I don't have a family but I was my mother's caregiver and it was extremely overwhelming. Without the capacity to stop even for five minutes and appreciate the small things, I couldn't have been there for her at all. And even now, I suffer from chronic migraines two - three times a week. Without the tiny moments of joy from a sunset, my dogs walk and a cup of delightful coffee, I'd have broken down ages ago. Five minutes of calm in 24 hours of a day is nothing to shun because many people don't even find that. Excuse me for the long comment but I just wanted to share my perspective because it's a fascinating conversation. Looking forward to your updates!
THIS! You get it. I feel like I don't have the capacity to stop, or, if I do then everything goes wrong. If I dare to dream about something new or something just for me, something goes wrong or my baby's health deteriorates and I feel stupid for even considering it in the first place. But, I have to keep trying to get those five minutes. I don't think it helps that when I do get 5 minutes, my mind is just so overwhelmed with things that it's easier to not stop and pause. Does that make sense? Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate you taking time to share your perspective 🩶
I think slow living means different things in different contexts. Glimmers helped me through my intense parenting times. Like pressing pause for a few seconds. I could also cry in the car. I parented 2 neurodiverse kidlets before that was a term and helped my eldest through an eating disorder that nearly killed them. Glimmers. Saved me in the chaos.
I appreciate your share here. And building a life that’s creative and sustainable is so important. Perhaps I’ll DM you for a collaboration 💖
Glimmers - I love that. Do you mean in terms of moments of joy among the chaos? I'm sorry you've had a tough time, and selfishly I feel sort of comforted that you get it. I hope that doesn't come across as insensitive. I've just felt very isolated on this journey. Everyone else seems to be parenting perfect kids, and my family doesn't look like theirs at all. Social media for you though, hey?
Exactly that, Sophie. Small moments of beauty and joy ‘in the shit’ as I used to say.
I don’t think your comment is insensitive at all. I feel like SM has had a cruel part to play in our perceptions of what life is. It can make a life seem completely different from reality. My kids are glorious (and now adults) but it was such a difficult journey. And sharing the difficulties helps others, doesn’t it?
Your article sparked a thought in me, Sophie - maybe slow living isn't about the absence of stress, but about how we navigate it. It's like that quote, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Maybe for us, slow living is about finding those pockets of calm amidst the chaos. It's about accepting that life is messy, and embracing those moments of stillness when they come, no matter how fleeting. You're not alone in this, and together, we can redefine what 'slow living' means for us.
I love this, Alexander! You are right, and I think I've been naive in thinking that slow living is all about the absence of stress. Which is ridiculous if you think about it, because life is full of stress. I suppose I've been awoken to the reality of slow living, and it's taken me a moment to grieve for that dream life I had pictured. I just need to figure out what comes next, and what my new slow, simple life looks like in amongst the chaos. Thank you for your comment! 😊
I agree with this - I doubt slow living is an actual thing in today's world. It's something we dream of but it doesn't really exist because our society isn't set up for us to live slowly. So many people talk about "opting out" and "slowing down" but do you actually personally know someone who has done that? And I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for you as a parent of neurodiverse children. Your Substack plans sound great, by the way!
I think I have been quite naive to it all these years. I honestly thought that I'd 'achieved' slow living, and that would be me set for the rest of my life. I, obviously, knew that life comes with highs and lows, but I didn't think that would happen to me because I had my simple, slow life. I do think I'll get back there one day, when the time is right, but for now I'm navigating a new season, and a new tougher journey. I just need to find those moments that bring me joy in amongst the chaos. Thanks for your comment, Sascha 🩶
Life has a way of throwing us curveballs just when we think we are winning. I’m so sorry your little man has these health problems and hope it’s something that can improve. My biggest curveball - it was my last day at work before maternity leave, it was going to be my time for preparing for our first child - but I got home to an empty flat followed shortly by a policeman at the door to tell me my partner had been killed in a motorcycle accident. I’d be happy to do an interview around this and loan parenthood if that’s of interest. I’ll fill in your form too. My thinking is it’s so important to be supporting each other in our creative endeavours, which seems to be yours too. Together we rise! 💚
Thank you for sharing this, Bronwen. I'm so sorry you've had such an unimaginable experience. I think it's important to share our realities, or our curveballs, so that others feel less alone, and we can shine a light on life and show people that it's not always easy and perfect and happy like it can seem on social media. Together we do rise! 🩶
What a great idea to keep everything here and to keep the overwhelm down!
I think what you’re offering fits in with this publication.
Also, big hugs for what’s been going on with you lately. I’m sure we got the tip of the iceberg and it doesn’t even go into bedtime chaos, laundry and dinner overwhelmed and the stresses that come with having a sick child - while managing finances. **hugs**
So huge! Life can be so big for us. I so feel you in working for yourself and having to take time off. While I don’t have kids (yet!) I worked for myself for years and last year came down with so many health issues that I had to keep off work - and so that meant not getting paid and having to chew through my savings. I’ve since landed a full time job and while it doesn’t give me the freedom and slowness of my old job (as I now work more hours per work) it does give me other perks that actually does allow me to slow down in other ways (like call in sick when I am and get paid for it). I have craved the slow life because I think so many of us need it, but it can also look very different in the ways we try and embody it. Thank you for your truthfulness!
Hey Carly, sorry to hear about your health issues. Being self employed isn't as simple as it seems in these cases, is it? I'm glad you have found some sort of peace of mind in your new job, I'm sure that takes away some of the worry so you can concentrate on getting better.
Completely agree, I think it's important to show our realities and that slow living isn't as straightforward as it can seem. Thank you for sharing 🩶
I love this post (and I still have your last one open in my tabs to read it over again.) I'm going to take time today to reach out re/ guest posting or the interview series. Thank you!
Thank you for being so supportive of my writing, Alice. I really appreciate you! I'd love to collab, definitely let me know if that's something you'd like to do 🥰
Love this new direction, Sophie, and the honesty of this searching…
I love this powerful acknowledgement that while we can make choices to simplify our lives, slow living in the modern world is a fantasy for many of us. I love the new direction you’re moving, Sophie, and I’m excited to see where the intersection of valuing simplicity and creative business leads.
I agree, I think like many things, it’s a privilege to live a truly slow life. I also have accepted that I can’t live a completely slow life, especially as a full time working mum. But I can introduce more slowness to my days. This slowness helps me be present and appreciate what I have, which calms my nervous system.
Sending you love and strength to get through this rough patch ❤️
Ah, you're so right Chelsie! I definitely can't live a completely slow life, but I too can introduce more slowness to my days. That feels so freeing to me, because I don't feel like I'm 'failing' at it by not living a complete slow life, but can do more to find more moments of slow. Does that make sense? 😅
Thank you! I really appreciate that 🩶
Aww hun what a challenging time you have had. I wanted to offer a little supportive note to say that I do think slow living can exist. I think there’s a big difference between the idealised aesthetic of what slow living is and the practical reality. For example, to me slow living means having a messy house because I need rest and then not judging myself for it, rather than being minimalist. In some seasons of life, slow living will mean being very busy focussing on priorities - so those skills on learning how to say no come into their own when you have a health crisis. Slow living doesn’t mean easy living, it is a point on the horizon keeping you steady in the hard times. Lean on slow living, it still has gifts for you in an overwhelming world so focussed on consumption!
You're so right, Rachelle! Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I love how you say it's a point on the horizon keeping you steady in the hard times. This feels so comforting to me, thank you! 🥰
Hi Sophie, It is lovely to have you back.
A lot of this is why I subscribe to slow AND gentle living, because up against 'the world', I realised one of the most important things was to be gentle with myself, and once I did- things didn't magically get easier or better but I WAS easier and better with myself and so I felt strong enough to tackle what was in front of me. As for slow living, I 100% believe in it, but more as a guiding philosophy - it won't take away stress or slow life down but it will encourage those moments big and small to rejuvenate you more and will help you uncover gratitude, and an energy that moves alongside life. It is not easy, and I wish you all the best. I am so happy you are back here and I am looking forward to reading about your journey.
Hi Emily, aw thank you! It's lovely to be back.
I 100% agree, I feel like I'm at ease with myself now. I think I was being resistant to the new direction my life was going in, but actually, I just need to accept and adapt, and I think I've done that after this post.
Yes! Yes to all of this! It's about looking for those slow and joyful moments amidst the chaos of life. Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate it 🥰
It sounds like you're figuring out how slow living can work for you in this new season of life. Don't be afraid to change and evolve 💕 also would love to collaborate!
I'm getting there, slowly 😅. I haven't written it off completely, more like I've adapted and, like you say, evolved. I feel so much better for it. Yes please to a collab, I'd love that! 🩶
Thank you for voicing the choice to include both sides in one Substack. I had the same question coming up last week, if I should start a new substack for a similar business venture like yours (offering technical and strategic guidance for new coaches) and now you show me that it all can be done in one thing.
It's saved SO much time and head space, Yvonne! I'd recommend keeping things together if you can 😊
I did. I smashed the topics together somewhat and now I’m way more excited to write.
I'll DM you on Monday about the possibility of a collaboration. I've just gone over your forms and I'm feeling inspired. Speak soon. ✨
Yes please! I'd love to chat more. I think this is a seriously needed conversation that needs to be had and witnessed 🥰
I'm sorry for what you're experiencing in your life and as a small business owner I understand where you're coming from. I'm not sure that slow living is about calm, though. I don't have a family but I was my mother's caregiver and it was extremely overwhelming. Without the capacity to stop even for five minutes and appreciate the small things, I couldn't have been there for her at all. And even now, I suffer from chronic migraines two - three times a week. Without the tiny moments of joy from a sunset, my dogs walk and a cup of delightful coffee, I'd have broken down ages ago. Five minutes of calm in 24 hours of a day is nothing to shun because many people don't even find that. Excuse me for the long comment but I just wanted to share my perspective because it's a fascinating conversation. Looking forward to your updates!
THIS! You get it. I feel like I don't have the capacity to stop, or, if I do then everything goes wrong. If I dare to dream about something new or something just for me, something goes wrong or my baby's health deteriorates and I feel stupid for even considering it in the first place. But, I have to keep trying to get those five minutes. I don't think it helps that when I do get 5 minutes, my mind is just so overwhelmed with things that it's easier to not stop and pause. Does that make sense? Thank you for your comment, I really appreciate you taking time to share your perspective 🩶
I think slow living means different things in different contexts. Glimmers helped me through my intense parenting times. Like pressing pause for a few seconds. I could also cry in the car. I parented 2 neurodiverse kidlets before that was a term and helped my eldest through an eating disorder that nearly killed them. Glimmers. Saved me in the chaos.
I appreciate your share here. And building a life that’s creative and sustainable is so important. Perhaps I’ll DM you for a collaboration 💖
Glimmers - I love that. Do you mean in terms of moments of joy among the chaos? I'm sorry you've had a tough time, and selfishly I feel sort of comforted that you get it. I hope that doesn't come across as insensitive. I've just felt very isolated on this journey. Everyone else seems to be parenting perfect kids, and my family doesn't look like theirs at all. Social media for you though, hey?
Yes please! I'd love to chat more 🩶
Exactly that, Sophie. Small moments of beauty and joy ‘in the shit’ as I used to say.
I don’t think your comment is insensitive at all. I feel like SM has had a cruel part to play in our perceptions of what life is. It can make a life seem completely different from reality. My kids are glorious (and now adults) but it was such a difficult journey. And sharing the difficulties helps others, doesn’t it?
Please stay in touch 💕
Aw, thanks Lisa! I appreciate that 🥰. I definitely will! x
Your article sparked a thought in me, Sophie - maybe slow living isn't about the absence of stress, but about how we navigate it. It's like that quote, "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Maybe for us, slow living is about finding those pockets of calm amidst the chaos. It's about accepting that life is messy, and embracing those moments of stillness when they come, no matter how fleeting. You're not alone in this, and together, we can redefine what 'slow living' means for us.
I love this, Alexander! You are right, and I think I've been naive in thinking that slow living is all about the absence of stress. Which is ridiculous if you think about it, because life is full of stress. I suppose I've been awoken to the reality of slow living, and it's taken me a moment to grieve for that dream life I had pictured. I just need to figure out what comes next, and what my new slow, simple life looks like in amongst the chaos. Thank you for your comment! 😊
Beautifully put. I was trying to say something along those lines but you put it perfectly.
I agree with this - I doubt slow living is an actual thing in today's world. It's something we dream of but it doesn't really exist because our society isn't set up for us to live slowly. So many people talk about "opting out" and "slowing down" but do you actually personally know someone who has done that? And I cannot even imagine how difficult it must be for you as a parent of neurodiverse children. Your Substack plans sound great, by the way!
I think I have been quite naive to it all these years. I honestly thought that I'd 'achieved' slow living, and that would be me set for the rest of my life. I, obviously, knew that life comes with highs and lows, but I didn't think that would happen to me because I had my simple, slow life. I do think I'll get back there one day, when the time is right, but for now I'm navigating a new season, and a new tougher journey. I just need to find those moments that bring me joy in amongst the chaos. Thanks for your comment, Sascha 🩶
Life has a way of throwing us curveballs just when we think we are winning. I’m so sorry your little man has these health problems and hope it’s something that can improve. My biggest curveball - it was my last day at work before maternity leave, it was going to be my time for preparing for our first child - but I got home to an empty flat followed shortly by a policeman at the door to tell me my partner had been killed in a motorcycle accident. I’d be happy to do an interview around this and loan parenthood if that’s of interest. I’ll fill in your form too. My thinking is it’s so important to be supporting each other in our creative endeavours, which seems to be yours too. Together we rise! 💚
Thank you for sharing this, Bronwen. I'm so sorry you've had such an unimaginable experience. I think it's important to share our realities, or our curveballs, so that others feel less alone, and we can shine a light on life and show people that it's not always easy and perfect and happy like it can seem on social media. Together we do rise! 🩶
What a great idea to keep everything here and to keep the overwhelm down!
I think what you’re offering fits in with this publication.
Also, big hugs for what’s been going on with you lately. I’m sure we got the tip of the iceberg and it doesn’t even go into bedtime chaos, laundry and dinner overwhelmed and the stresses that come with having a sick child - while managing finances. **hugs**
Hey Mika! I think so, it definitely feels much simpler this way round.
Thank you 🩶 It's definitely a rough road at the moment, but I hope things can improve. I really appreciate your support 🥰
So huge! Life can be so big for us. I so feel you in working for yourself and having to take time off. While I don’t have kids (yet!) I worked for myself for years and last year came down with so many health issues that I had to keep off work - and so that meant not getting paid and having to chew through my savings. I’ve since landed a full time job and while it doesn’t give me the freedom and slowness of my old job (as I now work more hours per work) it does give me other perks that actually does allow me to slow down in other ways (like call in sick when I am and get paid for it). I have craved the slow life because I think so many of us need it, but it can also look very different in the ways we try and embody it. Thank you for your truthfulness!
Hey Carly, sorry to hear about your health issues. Being self employed isn't as simple as it seems in these cases, is it? I'm glad you have found some sort of peace of mind in your new job, I'm sure that takes away some of the worry so you can concentrate on getting better.
Completely agree, I think it's important to show our realities and that slow living isn't as straightforward as it can seem. Thank you for sharing 🩶
I love this post (and I still have your last one open in my tabs to read it over again.) I'm going to take time today to reach out re/ guest posting or the interview series. Thank you!
Thank you for being so supportive of my writing, Alice. I really appreciate you! I'd love to collab, definitely let me know if that's something you'd like to do 🥰